What the World Needs Right Now

On Tuesday I had the pleasure of seeing the poet Mary Oliver speak at Benaroya Hall in Seattle. After delighting the crowd with a few poems, Mary amused us by responding to inquiries from the audience. When posed the hard-hitting question, "What does our world need right now?", she let out a heavy "Whoa," then paused, swallowed, sighed then answered.

"Community is what our world needs right now."

I couldn't agree more, Mary. Community, unity, harmony, compassion, global vision, integral values, what the world needs is to be included in the mind, the heart and soul of humans. Mary Oliver went on to explain that she believed that only through creating tolerant, kind, supportive local, national, and global communities will we as a species be able to begin to heal ourselves and our planet. We can no longer afford to look upon each other as enemies to be dominated. Now is the time to mature into secure, aware, integrated beings. I hope we can do it. I think many of us are.

I also recently heard author and philanthropist David Eggers say during his TED speech that the goal of his work at the non-profit 826 National is to create happy communities and thus a happy world. Through the 826 writing and tutoring centers, where kids receive free one-on-one homework assistance, they can then go home and enjoy themselves and "that makes a happy family, a bunch of happy families in a neighborhood is a happy community, a bunch of happy communities tied together is happy city, and a happy world, right?'

Right.

It relieves me to think we can start at home. Sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking on the huge, worldwide scale. Thinking I need to be fighting the big fight makes me feels like I'll never be doing enough to help create the change that is needed to redirect our collision course with ourselves. Acting here, where I am, feels good, feels possible. And the small things do matter: biking to work, buying local, eating local, growing a garden, volunteering at a local school or non profit, giving a smile when one wasn't needed or expected, generosity of words, thought and action all make a positive difference. That in turn ripples across our planet.

We are here for each other. United we evolve.




Snow Geese ~ by Mary Oliver

Oh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!
What a task
to ask
of anything, or anyone,
yet it is ours,
and not by the century or the year, but by the hours.
One fall day I heard
above me, and above the sting of the wind, a sound
I did not know, and my look shot upward; it was
a flock of snow geese, winging it
faster than the ones we usually see,
and, being the color of snow, catching the sun
so they were, in part at least, golden. I
held my breath
as we do
sometimes
to stop time
when something wonderful
has touched us
as with a match,
which is lit, and bright,
but does not hurt
in the common way,
but delightfully,
as if delight
were the most serious thing
you ever felt.
The geese
flew on,
I have never seen them again.
Maybe I will, someday, somewhere.
Maybe I won't.
It doesn't matter.
What matters
is that, when I saw them,
I saw them
as through the veil, secretly, joyfully, clearly.

Householders Unite!

My new article as featured in Yoga Living Magazine

Yoga teachers hear it all the time, as if the student needs them to bear witness to their sin. “It’s been two weeks since my last class.” “I haven’t been able to make it to yoga in over a month.” “I’ve been so busy, it’s been waaaaaay too long.” When students apologize for not attending class it reveals layers of self-doubt and criticism. But are you really a slacker? Or are you simply doing the best you can to balance the life of a Householder with your interest in the discipline of yoga?

It is helpful to step back and remember that you are not the only one struggling to shoulder a full outer life with a calling inward. Often, though we go to bed with the best intention to wake early to spend time on the mat or cushion, or we vow to find time after work or before the kids get home to head to the studio, we don’t do it. Days, weeks, months go by and as each pass our inner critic becomes louder. We tell ourselves, “I’ll never be good at yoga. Everyone else is a dedicated student but me,” or the ultimate blow, “I’ll never be enlightened!” We begin to believe that there is something wrong with us at our core, that we are flawed for not being able to make the time to practice.

Indeed, Patanjali states in the Yoga Sutras that laziness, carelessness, and fatigue are among the obstacles along the path of yoga. But are we truly lazy when we are managing children, a home, family, a career, hobbies, and a path of practice? For most of us, our lives are far from those of the renunciates who have given up worldly engagement for spiritual devotion; nor are we those with privileged amounts of time and resources to spend our mornings in meditation, our afternoons on the mat and our weekends on retreat. We are those who are simply striving to understand the Self while having both feet firmly planted in day-to-day demands. We are Householders.

In Hinduism, the culture from which yoga emerged, there are four distinct stages of human growth and development. These stages govern the flow of the maturing being and provide a guideline for advancing through the inner and outer worlds.

These Stages, or Ashramas, are:

1. The Student Stage - Brahmacharya
2. The Householder Stage - Grihastha
3. The Hermit Stage - Vanaprastha
4. The Wandering Ascetic Stage - Sannyasa

The Student Stage lasts until roughly the age of 25. It is a time of learning and study during which you prepared for a future profession and begin to understand the social and spiritual beliefs of your culture.

The Stage of the Householder, which lasts from approximately 25 – 50 years of age, is a period of being an active member of the community. You may be a partner, raise a family, support important causes, and pursue a career, all the while continuing to foster your relationship to spirit. Except for those who embark upon the life of a monk, nun, saint or saddhu, spiritual pursuits are not expected to be the central focus. All societies need productive, active Householders. You are laying the groundwork for the culture that will support your needs as you age, as well shape the world your children will inherit.

In the Hermit Stage you withdrawal from the material world into retirement. Here you are a grandparent and mentor, and are free to further deepen your bond with God or the Absolute. It is a time when a person is in this world but not of it. Today, this may not happen until the age of 60 or later.

The Fourth Stage is one of complete renunciation. Here, all efforts are turned towards uniting the individual soul, jivatma, with the universal Godhead, the paramatam. Only once a full life has been led do you concentrate solely on your spiritual path.

Though your soul longs to merge back into the spiritual ocean from which it came, it doesn’t all have to happen now. What you can do and control is how you feel about where you are. The next time you begin to beat yourself up over not having enough time on the mat, rest assured that all is coming. You are exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you need to do.

Remember to be compassionate with yourself and have patience with your process. Your true Self is eternal, and you are destined to return there. Instead of wishing away the demands of everyday life, feel gratitude for the enlivening variety of experiences they offer. Each moment we have a choice to see the beauty before it passes, and when we do, we are truly living the path of yoga.

The Artist's Dream

Next week I'll be attending The Artist's Dream in Teotihuacan, Mexico, a journey which is hosted by the remarkable artists and healers Iva Peele and Emily Grieves. Teotihuacan, the "Place Where Humans Becomes God", is an ancient Toltec site outside of Mexico City that was once a bustling center of spiritual wisdom and transformation.

Over two thousand years ago, the Toltecs were known throughout Mexico as men and women of knowledge and artists of spirit. As artists, they owned the power and responsibility of being the creators of their world. A Toltec is not defined by belonging to a race of people, but by the common practice of continually transforming personal belief systems and honing awareness in order to experience heaven on earth. Through the Toltec's exploration of their inner and outer world they came to realize that living a life of happiness and love is a personal matter, one that can only be created from the inside. With the acceptance of our partnership with Creation, we are the quintessential Artists. How beautiful we want the canvas of our lives to become is up to us.

Toltecs live with clear intentions about themselves, the world and their place in it. It is a practice of ever heightening consciousness that allows one to live a joyful life filled with integrity and meaning. A Toltec is a Spiritual Warrior whose quest is for personal freedom. Personal freedom is attained when one gains mastery over the beliefs of the mind. It is a state that is simply described as living with gratitude, unconditional love, and respect for all of creation.

In our modern era, Toltec teachings have been popularized by Carlos Castaneda's The Teachings of Don Juan, which he wrote in 1968, and by Don Miguel Ruiz's best selling book The Four Agreements. The teachings of the Toltces are united with the same wisdom and truth of all the world's spiritual paths. It is a transpersonal way of life.

To live the Artist's Dream is to voyage into the mystery of being with an open heart and clear mind. Being an Artist calls us to have the courage to live with passion and embrace our divinity.

As the poet Marianne Williamson said so well:

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Transpersonal Psychology

That blank look. It's what most people give me when I mention Transpersonal Psychology. I can almost hear the voice in your head saying, "Transpersonal psychology? What the heck is that?"
I know its the word transpersonal that's got you hung up, so to simplify matters I quickly add that its like spiritual psychology. But since I've got your attention, let's turn towards, not away from, the transpersonal...

The word is easy enough to break down: "Trans" is a Latin prefix meaning across, over or beyond, so attaching that to the word "personal", whose definition includes arising from personality and involving persons and human beings, we arrive at the concept of reaching beyond or transcending the individual or personal.
And I love the real definition of psychology. Its not the study of the mind, like most think, but the study of the soul. We all know "ology" refers to the study of, but did you know that "psyche" comes from the Greek word psuche meaning breath, life or soul:

Psuche
"The breath of life, (the vital force which animates the body and shows itself in breathing life, in which there is a living being, a living soul) the soul (the seat of feelings, desires, affections, aversions [our heart, soul etc.]...The soul as an essence which differs from the body and is not dissolved by death (distinguished from other parts of the body)."

Yes, technically, psychology as we know it in our culture is the study of the mind and behaviors, but let's consider for a while this idea of the study of the soul, the essence of being. From that perspective, it makes considerable sense to study the soul through a lens which includes the transpersonal. Transpersonal experiences are characterized by non-ordinary states or shifts in consciousness that are beyond rational thinking. Doorways to the transpersonal include: near-death experiences, meditation, mystical experiences, ritual, trance, dreaming, the use of psychedelics & other medicines, yoga, dance, music, art, contemplation or even spontaneous gnosis. Such experiences are described as moments of awakening, ascention, samadhi, enlightenment, illumination, opening, liberation, or union.

It is interesting to me that native and Eastern cultures do not even have systems of psychology. For them, an understanding of the soul, and the evolution of consciousness or mind, is built right into their society. Instead of specialized psychologists and counselors to help people find their way out of themselves, they have monks, yogis, shamans, healers, priests, sages, and seers to guide the course. It is an invention of the modern mind to view the ego as the seat of the Self, as the highest authority, and one look into our rates of suicide, depression, anxiety, illness and neurosis will give you an idea of how that's been working out for us. Without a sense of something greater we are without meaning and feel lost.

Paradoxically that which gives us meaning is itself impossible to define. Yet, as my beloved colleague Russell Park PhD once said, you know you are close to truth when there is a paradox. Transpersonal psychology is the study of all paths to Truth, their methods, causes, effects, and the disciplines and practices they inspire. The human personality is not an end in its self, but a vehicle for the soul to navigate through the world. Through the application of spiritual techniques the highest levels of human potential may be realized and our pure essence of being remembered.

This is Transpersonal Psychology, and I find it fascinating.

“The treacherous, unexplored areas of the world are not in continents or the seas; they are in the hearts and minds of men.” - Allen Claxton

Namaste

Namaste

I honor that place in you in which the entire Universe dwells.

I honor that place in you which is of light, of love, of peace and of truth.

When you are in that place in you, I am in that place in me,

We are one.

A Lesson in Tapas

I lifted my head from child’s pose and glanced across the studio at my Mom. She was lying outstretched on her back, collapsed in a disheveled sivasana. Her head rolled towards me and our eyes met. “I suck,” she mouthed silently. I shook my head and we both giggled.

At 51 years old, having never experienced an Ashtanga class, Mom decided to build her upon her five years of yoga teaching by enrolling in a nine-day Ashtanga Teacher Training. I tried to caution her about the style’s vigor, but as I didn’t want to be discouraging my warnings were too subtle and she was not dissuaded.

On the third day of the training, I was allowed to attend the morning’s Mysore practice. As I moved through the Primary Series I witnessed Mom struggle with each posture. She was so sore from the previous two mornings that each movement was heavy and raw. The kind, gifted teacher David Garrigues nursed her with encouragement and modifications, even suggesting that she take a break. But through the aches and obvious struggle she continued on.

Tapas, a Niyama of the Eight-Fold Path of the Yoga Sutras, is understood to mean purification through heat as well as discipline. Looking into her exhausted eyes, I felt privileged to behold a person focused enough to transcend limits of the mind, heart, and body. This was not a woman who sucked at yoga, but one who through the purity of her efforts was true tapas in action.

Who Am I?

When you read that phrase I want you all to think of Derek Zoolander asking this profound question of his own reflection in a puddle, whose reflection responds, "I don't know," right before his face is splattered with mud. Why do I want you to think of Zoolander? I don't know. Maybe because it takes the pressure off such a big question. If Zoolander can have the insight to ask it, so can I right? And argument can be made that by the end of the film he did indeed get an answer, so there's hope for us all.

The journey of Self-realization, or as Jung calls it, individuation, is the process by which humankind tackles the universal question, "Who am I?" At one point or another most of us go through this questioning, though we often feel like the only one who is uncertain. Across the ages, cultures and societies have had stories, myths, or rituals that give guidance to this ubiquitous archetype. Examples range from the Vision Quests of the Native American to the life of Siddhartha to the quest of Frodo, and to even our beloved Zoolander. This wish for wholeness is not of just a few, but all of humanity.

Well, then, who are you? Often people begin to answer the question with labels such as name, occupation, relationships: "I am Marisa. I am a mother. I am a yoga teacher. I am an American. I am 30 years old. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a friend." And those things I correctly am, but then, who is this "I" that I am referring to? Where does this "I" originate?

Further inquiry reveals that my sense of "I" comes not from my my mind, because the mind is the producer of thought, and though I can think about "I", this "I" is beyond ideas. When I let go of names and forms there is a subtle energy, a sense of presence, of being, of I-Amness. Trying to capture this sense with words is like trying to raise water from a lake with a giant net; nothing sticks.

I have come to know my "I" as an energy of the heart because this limitless sense of being, this witness, feels loving and kind and open. When I reside in my heart I feel connected to something vaster than my opinionated personality. Oh yeah! I remember now, that's the union of yoga! The union of self with God, the Absolute, the Universal, the Self, or whatever you want to call it. This is not to say that Self-realization is a religious experience, though it is certainly one that the conscious ego finds itself grounded in something deeper to, prior than, and more foundational than the self.

It isn't simply within the writing of this blog that I have come to understand the task of individuation... My journey began years ago, and continues everyday. Through the adoption of cross-cultural tools such as yoga, meditation, Toltec journey work, art, travel, Vision Quests, sweat lodges, dance, and more, I have learned to love, to forgive, to question, to accept, to challenge, and to release into the core of being. Greatest of all, I have learned from my own leaps of faith into my path of heart, sometimes getting my face splattered in mud.

"There has got to be more to life than being really, really ridiculously goodlooking."

Keepin' It Real

During these nationally, globally and personally unsteady times it would be easy to lose sight, for reality to lose its luster. I could reflect and say to myself, "I'm unemployed, our economy is in shambles, we are in multiple wars, the earth is being destroyed...we're doomed, what's the point of it all?" I could become overwhelmed with anxiety, depressed, and stunted by fear.
Yet, I'm not.

I don't feel that I am calm and hopeful because I live in the bliss of ignorance. I think I am informed and alert, and at the same time am vigilant to what I allow into my awareness, and how I spend my energy. I acknowledge the negative and instead of feeding it, I try to focus on the light and see myself and the world through a kind and forgiving lens. I believe I have a choice in how I understand reality, and that the impressions in my own mind are capable of effecting great change. Intentional thought can create more harmony and healing than trillions of dollars.

When I face the Darkside I feel gratitude for its existence, for only through knowing what I don't like am I able to know what I do. If there were only white the radiance would blind us. Next to black, white is perceived, and then we have a choice. Choice is consciousness, and these define our humaness.

The Taoist philosophers guide me with their wisdom:

Who knows what is good and what is bad?
If you think you can have order without chaos, you understand nothing about the laws of the universe.
Flow around obstacles, don't confront them.
The acceptable and the unacceptable are both acceptable.
Without desire or fear every dilemma spontaneously arrives at its natural solution.
All things appear as they truly are to those who are not blinded by their own self-interest.
Life is a great dream.
By changing ourselves we change the world.
Every end is a beginning.

Times like these are an opportunity to remember of what we are made and to establish where we are headed, and where our head is. The choice is mine and right now I choose a deep breath and a soft smile. You?

Yogini Infinity?

Yogini Infinity is a tag I came up with a decade ago when I was beginning to see my yoga practice as a defining characteristic of who I was becoming. Today, it feels a little childish and fluffy for me to don this assumed name, especially since I've given it to myself. When I read it the voice of my own mind switches to that of Buzz Lightyear and says, "Yogini Infinity...and Beyond!" Then I see myself taking flight, fuchsia sequin cape flapping in the wind behind me. It's silly.

Yet, there it is, right up at the top of this page. "Por que?" you ask, as I have asked myself many times. Because when I break it down, I continue to relate to the meaning of it, and can apply it to that being I am still becoming.
Here is how my logic goes:

Yogini: A female practitioner of yoga.
Yoga: Union; in particular the union of matter & spirit, of the individual self with the Divine.
Infinity: The state of being infinite.
Infinite: Limitless or endless; impossible to measure.

It's interesting to further note that the word infinite comes from the Latin infinitus, where in, 'not' + finitus, 'finished' = not finished.* By those definitions, when I refer to Yogini Infinity what I am getting at is that the act of joining the self with Cosmic Consciousness is one that cannot ever be truly completed. Since change is constant, the act of getting there, of being unified, is continual. There is no lasting moment of "finally making it." A Yogini Infinity is one who is constantly engaged in remembering their core Absolute state while dancing in the boundaries of the here and now. It's the both/and, to use Angeles Arrien's term, of the paradoxical state entered when one is fully awake. As is often quoted, you are in this world, but not of it; you are not seeking to escape but to embody.

And to me, the most beautiful part of all is that this state can't be measured. No quantitative research data will finally prove that the Divine is out there (or in here). No journal article will ever appear in JAMA highlighting the statistically significant rates at which people who enter a unified state of being become more fully alive. Not to say that the effects of yoga cannot be studied, because they can and are, on top of it's thousands of years of time-testability, which I hold as proof of its value and success. (It speaks volumes that something can continue to thrive and grow for centuries without the use of war, coercion or manipulation to create 'believers'.)
The internal, the qualitative, the experience which is subject to the subjective, and is ever changing, cannot be bottled and replicated. That truth is the beauty & poetry which the yogi or yogini lives.

To think that I will never "get there" inspires me and I feel the preciousness of every fragile moment. That all, any, of this is is miraculous. Hope becomes boundless. To have no beginning and no end is the ultimate prize. These ideas empower me with accountability and foster compassion for all beings. Life feels like a magic carpet ride fueled by unlimited potential and possibility. In moments large and small, from a quiet sunset over the ocean to the birth of a daughter, the exhilaration leaves me speechless. When I just am, I am Yogini Infinity. Even in times when I am spastic, chaotic, depressed, lazy, confused, sad, angry, fearful or lost, I am too.

So, I've decided I'll keep the label. It may be hokey to some, and at times to me, but it's a fruitful reminder of an aspiration I still consider worthy.



*Thanks MacBook Pro Dashboard Dictionary.